In an effort to head off a season-long rash of key injuries, the Red Sox brain trust is considering taking a more pro-active approach—disabling the entire roster. Sources have told the Boston Dust Mites that this would avoid the nearly daily embarrassment of new injuries, bungled diagnoses by the team medical staff and the generally bummed out feeling in the clubhouse. After Dustin Pedroia and Clay Buchholz went down in back-to back games in San Francisco, the novel idea came to light. "It's kind of like that scene in the Three Stooges when they keep shattering the glass door in the boss's office and the glass guy just breaks it himself the fourth time around before the Stooges can break it again", stated GM Theo Epstein. "Mr. Henry is a big fan of The Stooges".
Asked how they Red Sox could possibly continue the season with all 25 men on the DL, Epstein simply stated, "Well, you know, it is a bridge year."
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Sources say the front office has decided to bring up Pawtucket until at least the All Star Break.
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