NOG Considers Shrouding Fenway In Saran Wrap™

Given the coldest, bleakest, snowiest winter in memory, the New Ownership Group (NOG) may be taking some action to insure that fans are comfortable at America's Most Cramped Ballpark. Totally unconfirmed rumors (from unreliable sources) indicate that plans are afoot to enclose Fenway Park in a humongous, retractable shroud of Saran Wrap™. Word is that the team is in negotiations with SC Johnson Brands—makers of Saran Wrap™—to encase the 102-year old ballpark with 1.2 million square feet of the vinylidene chloride wrap as insulation from rain, cold and (potentially) snow. As Boston-area fans emerge from a horrific winter of record snow and cold, they will surely be pleased with the magnanimous efforts of John Henry et al. to keep them reasonably warm in their cramped seats.