REPORT: Wally Source Of Red Sox Flu Outbreak?

Wally showing effects of flu bug

Unsubstantiated reports suggest that Wally The Green Monster—the official mascot of the Boston Red Sox–is the initial infected entity of the current flu outbreak on the team. Unconfirmed sources tell Boston Dust Mites that the verdant creature came down with the flu bug on an unauthorized excursion to Sanibel Island during Spring Training. Reportedly, the mascot was seen carousing with other non-humans—with the possibility of the "bug" affixing itself to Wally's fur. Since the monster interacts extensively with team personnel, it's not surprising that the bug could have hopped off and infected others. Wally could not be reached for comment. The flu bug has virtually incapacitated the Red Sox in the opening days of the season—with multiple players (and even a broadcaster) felled by the bug. Stay tuned for updates!