A Breath Of (Not So) Fresh Fenway Air

A completely impeachable source has reported to Boston Dust Mites that the NOG—increasingly desperate to boost sagging revenues—will soon introduce a new line of Fenway Centennial merchandise. The centerpiece of the new line is a pristine jar full of Centennial Fenway Park Air—captured in the middle of the night by various members of the park's ground crew. The jarred air will sell for $100.00 per unit—conveniently priced so fans will remember exactly what year they were hoodwinked into parting with a Benjamin. As the accompanying Certificate Of Authenticity will read:

"Hey fans, you too can now breathe air from the exact same general area where Babe Ruth breathed air so may years ago. Yes, with a genuine jar full of Centennial Fenway Park Air, you will experience that rush of history that can only come from oxygenated breathing matter from America's Most Beloved Ballpark."

Breathe deep!